Feeling Burned Out by Parenting? You’re Not Alone

Parenting in today’s busy world can feel like a constant balancing act. Between work, family responsibilities, household demands and the many needs of your children, it can be difficult for anyone to find time to rest and recharge. Over time, this constant pressure can leave parents feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. 

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Suzanne Meller, MPH, MSW, LICSW, with 
Overlake Clinics Psychiatry, answers common questions about parental burnout, including who may be more vulnerable, signs to watch for and practical ways parents can reduce stress and get the support they need.

What is parental burnout, and who may be more vulnerable to it? What circumstances or factors can increase a parent’s risk?

Parents today are spending more time caring for their children while often having less support. Several factors can increase the risk of parental burnout, including living far away from extended family, caring for multiple children, and having young children, especially under 5 years old. Some parents may also find themselves part of the “sandwich generation,” in which they are active caregivers for both their aging parents and young children.

Why can it be difficult for parents to recognize that they’re carrying too much until they’re already feeling burned out? What signs might they notice along the way?

Parenting is a 24/7 job with very few breaks. When demands are high, parents can find themselves moving from one task to the next without stopping to recognize how much stress they’re carrying. Over time, that stress can build until it becomes difficult to manage. Signs of burnout may include trouble sleeping, feeling unable or unwilling to ask for help, turning down help when it’s offered, and experiencing frequent anxious or intrusive thoughts.

What are some realistic ways parents can reduce stress and lighten their load when they already feel stretched thin?

Connecting with other parents, taking time away from caregiving tasks to do activities or hobbies you enjoy, and asking for help from friends or neighbors are all realistic ways to lighten the load and relieve burnout.

How can you tell when your spouse or partner may be overwhelmed or carrying too much of the day-to-day responsibility, even if they haven’t said they’re struggling?

You may notice your spouse or partner isn't sleeping enough or is sleeping too much, isn't doing activities they used to enjoy, or isn't accepting help or breaks when offered. They may also seem mentally absent or disengaged when parenting. These can all be signs of parental burnout. 

When should a parent consider talking with a mental health professional? What signs suggest it may be more than everyday parenting stress?

A good first step if you think you may be experiencing parental burnout is to talk to your primary care provider. They can help you understand what you may be experiencing and whether seeing a mental health professional could help. Here at Overlake, our trained mental health therapists and psychiatric providers offer personalized treatment plans to meet your needs. Learn more 

If you think you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call or text 988 or visit your closest emergency room.

Are there local or community resources you would recommend to parents who are feeling overwhelmed or need additional support?

There are several local and community resources available to parents who are feeling overwhelmed or looking for additional support:

• Overlake Parent & Baby Center: Our Parent & Baby Center is home to a perinatal psychologist who provides mental healthcare for expecting and new parents. We also offer free support groups for newly expanded families to share, encourage, and gather resources for support. No question is too small, and no topic is off-limits. Find a support group
• Perinatal Support Washington (PS-WA): Provides resources, support and referrals for parents experiencing emotional or mental health challenges during pregnancy and the postpartum period. 
• PEPS: Offers parent groups and peer support to help families build community and navigate the transition to parenthood. 
• Parent Trust for Washington Children: Provides parenting education, support and resources to help strengthen families and promote healthy parent-child relationships. 

What’s one small thing a parent can do today to feel a little less overwhelmed?

Even small steps can help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. 
•  Get outside. Take a walk, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
•  Reach out. Call or text a friend or family member and let them know how you’re doing.
•  Take a quiet moment. Listen to relaxing music or find another activity that helps you slow down and reset.

You don’t have to solve everything at once. Sometimes, taking a few minutes to pause and recharge can make the next task feel a little more manageable.